Should I Start Self-Medicating?

There is no escape from the pain!! For nearly 5 years I have had a constant throbbing, stabbing and pulsing pain in my right temple extending to my whole head frequently. It does not stop. Every waking moment is accompanied by this sensation.

Sitting on the couch this morning I realized I have tried all the usual ways of combatting it. Paracetamol, ibuprofen, amitriptyline, beta blockers, calcium inhibitors, magnesium, epilepsy drugs, antidepressants and a strict diet avoiding inflammatory foods such as wheat, tomatoes and beans. In this time I learned to meditate at least 5 days of the week and have a daily journal which helps me keep life in perspective. Nothing has helped the pain. Opioids are not an option as the medication I take for my multiple sclerosis (this has become worse since the pain started) is an opioid inhibitor, and my neurologist informed me it would probably make the pain worse.

Chronic pain has taken away my ability to concentrate on anything. The light coming through the window, standing up, noise, having an important conversation, are all ways of making the daily pain, worse. It is unavoidable. By evening it is always worse, and my mood can be volatile. The most minor of setbacks can be catastrophic. I cannot even go for a brisk walk to burn away my frustration as my mobility has also been reduced dramatically. Only the shortest walk is…